“He wasn’t quite cute enough to risk a bad after party experience with. Moral of the story: kraft dinner.” – last nights drunk-post dance club-tweet.
He seemed lovely and we had a lot of fun dancing and he’s a photo-journalist who’ll be interning at Vice. So these are all excellent qualities, and we smoked cigarettes outside and he was friends with everybody and I had a feeling he wanted to kiss me and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to kiss him back but I thought, maybe, and I’m in a city where I don’t know many people and so I was looking to my friends (who know him) for hints about whether or not going to an after party with him would be a good idea and they just kept saying,
“You can totally come stay at my place.” and,
“Lets have a sleepover and we’ll drive you back downtown in the morning!” and,
“It’s a really expensive cab ride from that party to where you’re staying.”
So I took all of this as a hint that I shouldn’t go and after I’d said goodbye to him they told me that he’s a really nice guy but that partying with him wasn’t a good time because he would probably try and pressure me to do coke and then sleep with him. So I was happy I went with them because I was in the mood for adventure, but not the uncomfortable kind.
And sometimes those (uncomfortable/negative/awkward) experiences are a part of the variable risks that we take in order to perhaps encounter the incredible (exhilarating/positive/hilarious) ones.
I used to take these kinds of risks all of the time when I was younger and before I knew everybody in the city where I live. And I have taken them occasionally but not as often lately, but as I’ve gotten older my judgement and the success rate of my chances taken has definitely improved (I have met many of the most incredible -and now very important to me- people this way, I have also spent many late nights sitting on the arm of a couch sipping on a beer, having to say “No” with a firm hand and avoiding drunk losers). And I will surely take many of these risks (again and again) when I move to “the big city” and am once again young and not knowing of who’s who and who’s worth it.
And it could (was/is/will) be sort of scary, to hang out with someone that you barely know but if you never take the chance you might never make new friends (or lovers) (or move forward/toward where you want to/should be) so as a woman (or anyone really) you just have to be aware and secure enough in yourself to know what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not (and when to throw in the metaphorical ‘adventure’ towel). And when to follow and when to flee. And how to distinguish from sincere and skeeeezy.